You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
