just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
