Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
