They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
