the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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