her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
