He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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