my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
