playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
and you fell through a lawn chair
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
