So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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