yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
