Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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