If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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