also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Less talking, more tequila
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
