omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
