i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize