I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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