I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
