I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
