we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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