you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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