I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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