no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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