is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
