I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
