I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
