Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
