I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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