why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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