I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
