My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
