dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
