break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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