please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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