six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
