Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
