Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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