i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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