dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
