I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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