did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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