I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
