bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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