Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
