Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Buhtt sex?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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