My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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