Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
