Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
