He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
