where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
