well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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