I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
