you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
