so explain again why im purple
no
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
