A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
