I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
