C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
