pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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