He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
