If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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