...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
